In today’s world, blaming others has become an art form-a way to deflect responsibility and avoid the discomfort of facing our own shortcomings. From sensationalised reality TV shows that thrive on finger-pointing to media narratives that pin society’s problems on politicians, systems, or external forces, blame has become a cultural norm. But is this culture of blame truly serving us? Or is it eroding our sense of responsibility, accountability, and ultimately, our ability to grow?
It is worth noting that modern secular psychology and counselling have contributed to this phenomenon. While these fields aim to help individuals navigate their struggles, certain approaches-particularly those cantered on trauma – have inadvertently fostered a culture of blame that diminishes personal responsibility and accountability. This shift has profound implications for individuals and society, as it risks trapping people in cycles of victimhood rather than empowering them to take control of their lives.
The Qur’an offers a stark contrast to this mindset, emphasising the importance of self-accountability and justice. In Qur’an 2:286, Allah says:
“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned.”
This verse reminds us that while external factors may influence our lives, we are ultimately accountable for our actions. It challenges the blame culture by affirming that we have the capacity to bear our struggles and that we must take responsibility for our choices.
The Rise of Blame Culture in Secular Psychology
As stated above, modern secular psychology, particularly trauma informed approaches, often focuses on external factors- such as childhood experiences, societal injustices, or past traumas- as the primary causes of an individual’s struggles. While these factors are undeniably significant, an overemphasis on them can lead to a dangerous narrative: that individuals are merely victims of circumstance, absolved of any responsibility for their actions.
For example, consider the growing trend of attributing all personal struggles to trauma. While trauma can have a profound impact on a person’s life, framing every difficulty as a result of past experiences risks reducing individuals to passive recipients of their circumstances. This approach can create a sense of helplessness, where individuals believe they have no agency to change their lives.
Take the case of someone struggling with anger management. A trauma focused therapist might explore how the individual’s upbringing or past experiences contributed to their anger. While this exploration can be ‘validating’ (and deterministic), it can also lead the individual to believe, “I can’t help my anger because of what happened to me.” This mindset, while understandable, can become a barrier to personal growth and accountability.
The Self-Serving Bias and Blame
There is phenomenon known as the self-serving bias, where individuals attribute their successes to their own abilities but blame external factors for their failures. Imagine a student who performs well on an exam. They might say, “I aced it because I studied hard.” But if they fail, they might blame the teacher, the exam questions, or even their personal circumstances.
This bias is amplified in a culture that prioritises victimhood over accountability. When secular counselling modalities constantly validate external blame, they reinforce this bias, making it easier for individuals to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
One of the most concerning trends in modern psychology is the over validation of victimhood. While it’s crucial to ‘acknowledge’ and address genuine trauma and injustice, some therapeutic approaches go too far, encouraging individuals to see themselves primarily as victims. This can lead to a sense of entitlement and a belief that others- whether individuals, institutions, or society at large- are solely responsible for their problems.
The Qur’anic Balance: Justice and Accountability
The Qur’an provides a balanced approach to blame and accountability. It acknowledges the reality of external injustices and the need to address them, while also emphasising the importance of personal responsibility. Allah commands:
“O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm in justice, witnesses for Allah, even if it be against yourselves or parents and relatives. Whether one is rich or poor, Allah is more worthy of both. So follow not [personal] inclination, lest you not be just.” (4:135)
This verse teaches the importance of justice, but it also calls for self-accountability. Allah says:
“O you who have believed, fear Allah. And let every soul look to what it has put forth for tomorrow- and fear Allah. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what you do.” (59:18)
It is a reminder that we are ultimately accountable for our actions. It encourages us to take ownership of our choices and strive for self-improvement, rather than shifting blame onto others.
Constantly blaming others can lead to a sense of powerlessness and stagnation, while taking responsibility empowers individuals to take control of their lives and make positive changes. At the same time, it is important to recognise that some individuals have genuinely been wronged and deserve justice. The key is to avoid using past trauma or external circumstances as an excuse to avoid accountability.
Blaming others may provide temporary relief, but it ultimately traps us in a cycle of victimhood and irresponsibility.
The Qur’an offers timeless guidance on this issue, reminding us of the importance of self-reflection, accountability, and justice. By striking a balance between acknowledging external factors and taking ownership of our actions, we can cultivate a healthier, more empowered mindset that aligns with both Islamic teachings and authentic psychological integration.
